Sunday, November 10, 2013


This week, I was at the gym before work, literally counting the seconds until I was done when something awesome happened.

The woman on the treadmill in front of me had one of the best trip-and-falls I've ever seen. But before I get into the details, yeah, yeah, she was fine. (Not the point.)

So to set the scene, the music is pounding, the place is fuggy with sweat and the entire endeavor is dead boring in that drone-like, repetitive way. We are a bunch of plugged-in sheep, mindlessly going through the motions.

Suddenly, there is a high-pitched yelp and I turn my head, just in time to see a woman literally in midair above her treadmill! She somehow lands on her back (what?? the physics of it are astounding!) on the treadmill, which then shoots her straight off the thing and onto the hard, cruel gym floor, where she skids to a stop.

She moves slightly, wincing, groaning, as people around her (not it) leap off their machines and swoop in to assist her.

But she bravely waves them off. She stands up gingerly, tests for broken limbs, shakes it off and without a care in the world (save her bruised back, butt, head and ego), she hops back up on the treadmill midstride, like nothing had ever happened. But it totally had, and about 50 people saw it all go down.

This all took place over the course of about 20 seconds. Best damn 20 seconds of my morning, possibly my week.

People are just wonderful, especially the grace-challenged ones, such as myself.


Andy McBride said...

Tripping is ALWAYS FUNNY, as long as it's not me doing it.

Earl said...

One time I walked into a glass door at a gas station. It was bad, like bounce off stunned bad. A guy in his car must have laughed for 20 min.

In these type of situations you have two options: one go for sympathy by feigning an injury or two act as though nothing happened. Choice two is harder but in the end you feel somewhat vindicated.

HOWEVER, if you don't at least go over to see if the person is ok then you forfeit all right to laugh lest you admit being a true ahole

Kerry said...

I walked through a screen door once. It was horribly embarassing then, hilarious now.

As for going over to see if the treadill woman was OK, she instantly had a crowd of people around her and was clearly more interested in forgetting the entire episode than answering strangers' questions about how she was feeling, did she need a doctor, etc.

Robyn said...

Hey! Glad to see you're back! You make me laugh, too, so keep it up. :)

Earl said...

What themes are important to you (in your writing)?